This  is not a complete list but one that was put together to explain to  those new that might not understand or want an in-story explanation.  This is not a handwritten list to be clear but a collaborated list from  multiple sites.Any item labeled or highlighted in bold is a personal no so please respect those choices.24/7 – A power exchange relationship (whether aspects big or small) that exists all day, every day.Aftercare  – a period of time after play during which players check-in and  re-establish connections with each other. Often involves cuddling, sex,  eating or drinking to replace electrolytes, discussing the scene and/or  checking in.

Aftercare is different for everyone, and can also involve  alone time, or any number of personal preferences. Aftercare is widely  considered to be an essential part of kinky play.

Ageplay  – Role-play involving a distinct difference in ages, and often power  exchange based on those ages. Can include infantilism, Parent/child  play, incest play, diaper play, etc.

BDSM  – A modern acronym used to refer to the kink and fetish communities and  activities. Letters stand for many different things, including “Bondage  and Discipline,” “Dominance and Submission,” “Sadomasochism,” “Sadism  and Masochism,” and “Slave/Master.”Blood  Choking – The act of causing someone to pass out, or begin to lose  consciousness, by restricting the blood flow to their brain. Also called  “choking out,” this is considered edge play, and is a widely debated  practice in the kink community.

Bondage –  Restraint or restriction of a subject, often used to refer to a  preference (ie, “I like bondage”). Can include rope bondage, suspension  bondage, leather bondage, furniture and device bondage, predicament  bondage. Can be employed for dominance, sex, art, or anything you like. See also: Shibari.

Bottom – A role referring to the person receiving sensation.  One who receives sensation of action. See also: top.

Breathplay  – The act of choking and/or restricting breath. Breath-play is a topic  of debate in many kink circles because of the difficulty of the risks  involved; it is considered very dangerous, and falls into the category  of edge-play.

CBT – Acronym for “Cock and Ball  Torture,” usually also including specific techniques and anatomical  understanding for the torture of male genitalia.

Cane/Caning  – A common BDSM toy and activity. Canes can be made from many different  materials, including different woods, plastics, or any semi-flexible  material. The act of caning involves striking someone with a cane,  usually across broad, fleshy areas of the body (the butt, the backs of  the thighs, etc). Caning is also popular across the bottoms of the feet.

Collar/Collaring  – Usually represents someone’s identity as a submissive and/or owned  person, a BDSM collar can be imbued with whatever meaning by the wearer,  or none at all, although it often carries some symbolic weight.  Collaring ceremonies are common in BDSM, and can range anywhere from a  simple commitment or preference for wearing a collar, to a level of  seriousness on-par with an engagement or marriage.

Consent  – Saying yes! Saying yes please Sir or Madam! Consent is un-coerced,  non-pressured, freely given permission. This is at the heart of all  things kinky; consent is very, very important. See also: safewords.Consensual  Non-consent – Sometimes referred to as “rape play,”

ConNonCon includes  much more than acting out violent fantasies. It is complex scene play,  which usually has a pre-negotiated safeword and extensive discussion of  boundaries and limits beforehand. During ConNonCon, the scene may have  the outward appearance of being very violent, and without the consent of  one party; essentially, a rape scene. Consensual Non-consent, while it  can be very hot, can also be serious mojo to play with; approach with  caution.

Corsetry/Tight-lacing – A fetish that  explores power exchange and/or fetish through shape changing, sometimes  breath-limiting corsetry.

Cupping – Also  called “fire cupping,” it is the act of heating up glass cups with  rounded backs, usually a few inches across, on the skin. As the cups  cool, they create a vaccuum, leaving a hicky-like bruising pattern  across the skin. If done hard enough/hot enough, cupping can also break  the skin.

Dom(me) – A role identifying a person  as dominant; to be on the controlling and decision-making side of power  exchange (male: Dom, female: Domme) One who has, takes, or receives  power. See also: submissive.

Dungeon – A word  referring to large group play spaces or places where play parties are  held. Rarely are these actual dungeons. Often, they’re converted  conference rooms, ballrooms, or even individual homes or rooms in homes.  Sometimes, they’re committed spaces that stay dungeons all the time. A  dungeon often includes kink furniture (spanking benches, St. Andrews  crosses, suspension points (or “hard points”), stocks, cages), a common  area to socialize and/or have snacks and drinks, and quieter places for  aftercare and cuddling. Dungeons (and play parties) also have their own  unique sets of rules and etiquette.Dungeon  Master – A person responsible for safety in the Dungeon, usually an  experienced member of the community, sometimes the host. They walk  around, check in on different scenes, are responsible for ousting unsafe  of inappropriate players etc.

D/s – Shorthand for Dominance and submission.

Edgeplay  – A term for BDSM practices that are considered at the edge, inherently  more risky, or debated within the community. Included are: breathplay,  choking, knifeplay, play piercing, bloodplay, fireplay, gun play,  consensual nonconsent.

Enema – The act of douching or cleaning the anal cavity and rectum. Can be a fetish preference.Fetish  – A “fetish” is an object or action that isn’t inherently sexual  (examples: leather, latex, rope, crying), but that carries sexual  association or is a turn-on for a given person (example: “I have a rope  fetish.”)

Fetlife – Kink’s equivalent of  facebook, fetlife.com is a website for posting pictures, statuses,  writing, finding local groups, making friends, and organizing events.

Fire Play – Play that involves the sensation, use, or threat of fire. Considered edgeplay.

Fisting  – A sexual act in which the giver’s fist (or part thereof) is used to  penetrate the receiving partner. When done with proper warm-up and  technique, fisting doesn’t hurt or cause any damage, but rather can be  really amazing! Fisting can be anal or vaginal.

Floggers/Flogging  – A common BDSM toy and practice, a flogger (Preferably a Suede Leather  Flogger ) is a multi-tailed whip. The tails can be made from various  materials, such as leather, suede, or hair, often with wood or synthetic  handles wrapped in the material of choice. Flogging can produce a  sensation that’s anywhere from sharp sting to heavy thud, or any  combination of the two. Hits from a flogger are best across a part of  the body that’s large and meaty, such as the upper thighs, butt, or  upper back (but not) the lower back. Floggers come in many sizes, with  any number of tails (and often specific names based on those numbers,  such as a cat-o-nine-tails).

Golden Showers – the kink practice of peeing on someone and/or being peed on.

Gorean  – Based on the sci-fi novels by John Norman, Gorean households and  couples follow a strict and traditional protocol, involving specific  postures and rituals. Most Gorean relationships are 24/7 and  Master/slave.

Hard Limit – A specific element  or action that a person isn’t comfortable with, and cannot see  themselves becoming comfortable with (example: ______ are a hard limit  for me”). See also: soft limitImpact play A  category of sensation play, impact play is just what it sounds like,  i.e., when something makes an impact. Including but not limited to  spanking, slapping, caning, flogging, paddling, punching, hitting, etc.  refers to any kind of activity where you’re hitting someone with  something. Impacts chiefly produce two types of sensations – stings and  thuds. A sting is a strike felt at the level of the skin. It is usually  produced by a thinner, harder, or lower mass impact material. A thud is  felt deeper into the muscle and is caused by a slower, heavier. or  softer object. Whipping and flogging are very complicated and very  technical, so you shouldn’t do them unless you have someone to show you  how. They’re way outside the scope of our discussion. The word whip  usually refers to a long, thin leather tail attached to a handle –  visually similar to a bullwhip. When used correctly this provides  intense surface level stinging, it can also break the skin easily. The  end of a whip can move very quickly, even faster than the speed of  sound. Do not touch a whip unless you have someone competent to mentor  you. You can cut your partner up and even lose eyesight. It isn’t safe.  Have someone watch your strokes and correct your motions. Practice on a  pillow until you can confidently hit the spot you intend to hit with the  intensity you planed to use every single time. Wear proper safety gear  such as a wide-brimmed hat to protect your eyes.

A flogger is a  collection of shorter leather pieces (called falls) attached to a  handle. Depending on the material and style of play a flogger may feel  more  thick or more stingy, but will always disperse energy over a  larger area than a whip and contain more mass – making the sensation  more thud like. It is important to prevent the falls from wrapping  around the bottom’s body because this causes them to gain speed and  produces a more intense (and usually not desired) sensation. Risks from  flogging include accidental blood letting, painful sensations from  wrapping, physical damage and pain from a strike to the kidneys or other  internal organs (even a light strike will make the bottom instantly  nauseated), damage to the neck, damage to the face, and loss of  eyesight. New players can mitigate the risk of neck damage by draping a  towel over the bottom’s neck – but you should never play with a flogger  unless you are confident that you can hit the same spot every time. The  stroke should come as a flick of the wrist (you don’t need to swing your  whole arm around) – please have someone show you how to do this, and  practice on a pillow until you have the proper control. Florentine flogging is a very interesting variation where two floggers are used rhythmically. dragon tail is a less common style that uses a single wide coiled piece of leather instead of a thin whip. These  are easier to use than classic single tail whips because energy is  dispersed over a wider surface area. However, they can still be quite  dangerous and should not be used without training. Some people enjoy  being punched with a closed fist, but this is quite dangerous if you do  not know what you are doing. The best way to learn is to take a martial  arts class, preferably one with sparring. Other forms of impact play  include bare handed spanking, slapping, paddling, cropping, and caning.  Always aim for large muscular or fatty areas such as the thighs,  buttocks, breasts, or arms. Avoid bony areas, particularly the tailbone  and spine. Do not hit at all between the hips and the ribs, because  hitting someone’s kidney is very painful and can cause serious damage.  Different areas and toys produce different sensations, so stay in  communication with your partner and ask how each blow feels. Never  assume that your partner is making a “mountain out of a mole hill” –  everyone has a different pain tolerance, and you may be hitting much  harder than you think.I recommend that beginners start slowly. Many  people love being spanked until they cry or until they cannot take any  more, but you don’t want to do this your first time or even your tenth  time. You will have much more fun if you work slowly so that you always  want a little more and are excited about the next session. You will not  have fun if you pass someone’s pain tolerance and cause them to dread  play time. You’ll have even less fun in the hospital.

Knife Play – Play involving the use, threat, or sensation of knives. Considered edgeplay.Masochism/Masochist  – Someone who enjoys pain/the act of enjoying pain. Can sometimes  indicate the feeling of pain as pleasure, or the simple enjoyment of  pain as pain.

Master/Slave – A relationship  term indicating intense power exchange, service, and sometimes a 24/7  dynamic. A more specific and different kind of Dominant/submissive  relationship, Master/slave is sometimes thought of as more extreme  and/or more 24/7 oriented than D/s.Medical  Play – play or scenes involving medical equipment, a medical aesthetic,  and medical tools. Often involves needle play and/or play piercing.

Munch  – A social event for kinksters, usually held at a bar or a restaurant  (originates from the term “burger munch.”), a munch doesn’t involve play  or sex, but rather an event for community to gather, talk, share  interests, or plan events.

Mummification – the  wrapping or mummifying of part of all of the body to confine movement  and/or limit sensory experience. Can be done with saran wrap, plastic,  rubber, fabric, or with special equipment like vacu-beds.

Needle Play – Play involving needles, or the threat of needles. See also: play piercing.Play  – A general use verb to indicate doing BDSM actions, and an adjective  to precede specific BDSM interests. Examples: “Needle play,” “play  piercing,” “age play, ” “play party.”Play  Party – An event where kinksters gather to play. Play parties might be  held in a dungeon or other kind of play space, or simply in someone’s  house. Play parties differ in size, rules, and etiquette, but often  involve dressing up (or down), various kink activities (bondage,  sadomasochism, and sometimes sex). Most play parties involve public  play, where within the context of the party, couples or groups will play  in front of whoever else attends. See also: Dungeon, dungeon master.Play  Piercing – The practice of temporary piercing of the flesh, both for  the sensation and aesthetics of piercing. Piercing are sometimes placed  in designs across the body, or needles may be attached to a string or  other points for further sensation.

Pony Play –  play involving acting like, or being the owner of, a human pony. Can  involve costuming (hoof boots, saddles, bridals, bits), or simply sounds  and actions of the horse. Usually involves some kind of power exchange.  See also: pet play.

Power Exchange – The act  of exchanging power, from one or more parties to one or more other  parties, often in the form of control and/or sensation. Consent is at  the basis of any healthy power exchange, regardless of whether the  exchange lasts an hour, a day, or a lifetime.

Pet  Play – play involving acting like, or being the owner of, a human  puppy/kitty. Can involve costuming and props (leashes, collars, food  bowls), usually involves some kind of power exchange.

RACK  – “Risk Aware Consensual Kink,” this acronym was born as a response to  SSC, as a consent-culture and safety-oriented attitude that could  include more inherently risky play in it’s scope. See also: SSCRape  fantasy – When someone fantasizes about wanting to be raped; can lead  to some very tricky consent boundaries. Sometimes referred to as “rape  play,” we prefer the term “consensual nonconsent,” as it gets to the  heart of what makes role-playing rape okay, in the kink world: consent,  at the heart of everything.

Rough Sex – sex involving anything rough: biting, scratching, power play, you name it, if it’s rough, go for it.Sadism/Sadist  – Someone who finds in the enjoyment in giving pain to another/the act  of enjoying giving pain to another. Sadists like pain for many different  reasons; some are sexual, some aren’t (but either way, you’re gonna  have fun…)

Safeword – a pre-negotiated word  that either party (although most commonly the bottom) can use to pause,  check-in, or end the scene or play. Safewords function in the same “no”  or “stop” might otherwise (and part of their function is allowing the  bottom to scream “no” or “stop” as much as they like). Some common  safewords are “safeword,” and the color system: “red” = stop, “yellow” =  check in (some people also use various different colors to mean  different things, for instance, “green” = please god don’t stop, etc.).

Sensation  Play – Play that involves the sense of touch, not necessarily pain.  Running a flogger gently across someone’s skin, alternating between soft  velvet and scratchy burlap on the back of a paddle, running a ; all  these are playing with the sensation across someone’s skin.

Service  Top – A specific kind of top, a service top usually describes their  turn-on as how their actions are in service to the bottom (example: “I  like to flog her because she likes it,”), as opposed a Sadist or  Dominant, who might find their role a turn-on in other ways. See also:  TopSensory deprivation – depriving someone of  their senses in some way. Examples: blindfolds,  earmuffs/headphones/earplugs, a bag over one’s head, etc.

Shibari  – traditional Japanese rope bondage, Shibari is more aesthetically  specific than western bondage, and uses a series of designated length  and diameter ropes. In the recent world of rope bondage, Shibari has  been adapted and combined with a more western style, and the two are  often seen used together. The word “Shibari” means “to tie” or “to  bind.”

Soft Limit – A specific element or  action of play that a person isn’t really comfortable with, but could be  some time in the future, and/or might want to push past. Example:  “______ is a soft limit for me… maybe check back in a few months?” See  also: Hard limit.Sounding – From the medical  practice, “sounding,” was equivalent to “measuring,” but within bodily  orifices. In the modern kink word, sounding refers to the practice of  inserting metal rods into the urethral openings (either on men or  women).

Subdrop – An emotional, psychological,  or physiological state that can sometimes come after play. Usually  involves feelings of loss, loneliness, abandon, worry, misgivings about  the play or one’s identity as a kinkster, and sadness. Helpful remedies  include: cuddling, warm blankets, favorite movies, and good foods. See  also: topdrop.Suspension – the practice of  lifting or partially lifting the subject into the air. Most commonly  seen with rope, suspension can be done with any number of things,  although a familiarity with anatomy and safety practices is a must.SSC  – “Safe, Sane, and Consensual.” This was one of the first acronyms to  first come onto the scene, in the early 80’s, that described an aware,  safety-oriented kink world; an important distinction, especially before  the BDSM scene was more widely accepted (or at least, more public) to  differentiate between abuse and SMSubspace – a  state of mind refers to a blissed-out, other-worldly place bottoms can  go during heavy play. Subspace, also referred to as “flying,” or  “floating,” is usually a combination of endorphins and adrenaline that,  in the right mix, have an almost drug-like effect. Many bottoms report  their pain tolerance skyrocketing, and a desire to keep playing forever.

S/M  – originally an acronym for “Sadomasochism,” S/M, SM, or S&M became  an all-inclusive word meaning the same as “kink” or “BDSM,” when the  scene was still in its fledgling stages. Many older texts will use S/M  (or “leather”) in much the same way as we use “BDSM” or “kink” today.

Submissive – One who gives, relents, or doesn’t have power.

Switch – One who switches between roles.

Sadist – One who enjoys giving pain.Masochist – One who enjoys receiving pain.

Sadomasochist – One who enjoys both giving and receiving pain.

Top – a role referring to the person giving sensation. One who gives sensation or action. See also: bottom.

Topdrop  – An emotional, psychological, or physiological state than can  sometimes come after play. Usually involves feelings of loss,  loneliness, disgust, self-doubt, misgivings about the play or one’s  identity as a kinkster, and sadness. Helpful remedies include: cuddling,  warm blankets, favorite movies, and good food. See also: subdrop.  Topspace – Also called “top frenzy,” top space is the counterpart to  subspace, and includes feelings of all-powerful euphoria and a desire to  never stop. See also: subspace.TPE – “Total  Power Exchange.” This acronym refers usually to a 24/7 relationship  dynamic (the two are often found in conjunction, as in, “24/7 TPE,”) in  which all power is exchanged, including finances and physical property.

Vanilla  – A word first used to describe non-kink oriented sex, “vanilla,”  sometimes takes on a dismissive tone, and has come (in the some places)  to mean just “boring sex.” Also, a delicious ice cream flavor.

Wax  Play – play involving dripping hot wax on the skin. Different waxes can  be used, although many burns at different temperatures and good  research beforehand is highly recommended.

Watersports – Play involving pee, playing with pee, and peeing on one another. See also: golden showers.

Wartenberg  wheel – A device originating in the medical field to test nerve ending  response and sensation, and wartenberg wheel is a small, very  sharp-spiked wheel that can be rolled over the skin, or used in  conjunction with an electrical play unit.
Common limits include:disease transmission (aka unsafe sex)piss/shit (also called golden showers/water sports and brown showers/scat)feeling claustrophobic or feeling too exposedfeeling worthless/humiliatedfeeling unsafe or being afraid of your partner (even in a play context)physical marks, physical marks in some placespain, certain types of pain, pain in certain places, pain past a certain level of intensitytriggers – anything that reminds you of a past traumatic event